Manufacturing Manager

Before

After

Resume Editing

A Critique of Your Resume:

Dear Tricia ~

In keeping with your request to make the resume clean, simple, and direct, I chose a standard business format. This format utilizes the Times New Roman font resulting in a document that’s elegant and uncluttered.

To best organize your contact data (phone numbers & email), I placed your email beneath your name so an admissions director could easily locate it. I also kept your office data flush left and your home data flush right as you had on the old resume.

I began the body of the resume with a Qualifications section. This brief paragraph summarizes your impressive skills, beginning with your bilingualism and experience in automotive glass manufacturing. I wrote about your start-up of an R&D facility in Los Angeles and the awards you received for excellence in technology invention and development. Added to this were your solid leadership, teamwork, and project management capabilities.

In the Professional Experience section, I underscored the Los Angeles Glass Company, Ltd. name, then listed your varying jobs beneath that tag. Because I had listed the “Fabricated Glass General Division: Automotive OEM Glass Manufacturing,” before your jobs, I did not repeat that in the titles, as you had. Space was a consideration as was the desire to avoid redundancy.

I began the bullet points with the strongest action verbs possible, while also rewriting text for conciseness & clarity.

For example, you wrote:

“Successfully planned and designed a new R&D structure from the details of the organization to the functional facility and its realization.”

I rewrote that to read:

“Planned, designed, and implemented a new R&D structure using the facility’s specifications.”

In another example, you wrote:

“Designed and managed the detailed content and its configuration of the new building to realize the intended R&D function and the atmosphere, from the IT systems to the color scheme, meeting the budget and the timing.”

I rewrote that to read:

“Designed and supervised the new building’s content and configuration to ensure original specifications were adhered to, from the choice of IT systems to the color scheme, while also remaining within time and budget constraints.”

For the last section of your resume, I chose the heading, “Education, Honors, and Certifications.” In this section, I placed your Master’s and Bachelor’s beneath the Los Angeles University heading. Since you received the degrees from the same University, it’s unnecessary to keep repeating the name.

I next listed your work at the MIT Sloan School.

Beneath this, I listed your many awards.

Lastly, I listed your certifications.

The only data I excluded was your listing of extra-curricular activities and activities / special interest. Space was a consideration (to have included this data would have made your resume run to three pages (one or two is the industry standard) or I would have been forced to decrease the size of the type, making the resume harder to read.

As one admission’s director said: “Your resume should portray your work and educational history in the way you would present them to a prospective employer.”

In the United States, rarely, if ever, do we include activities or interests on a resume. These are usually brought up during the interview process as a way to “break the ice.”

All decisions to modify or exclude data were in keeping with the guidelines and standards of the Professional Association of Resume Writers (PARW).

With this resume, you now have a powerful tool that’s well-organized and aesthetically pleasing.

It was a pleasure serving you, Tricia.

Good luck in all your future endeavors.

ResumeEdge Editor

Certified Professional Resume Writer (CPRW)